Archive | April, 2012

Mr. Fine

28 Apr

One day this past summer during my quest for the city I remember being on 79th around Western, the time buses don’t run often, to take us (me and my son) on further from that point. Getting off from the bus terminal and walking towards the 80’s. I recall reaching 84th/85th the wooded area around the Forest Preserve and I was walking the pathway/sidewalk to reach 87th, still not a bus in sight. Here I am doing all of this walking in sandals, in the summer trying to be cute and a conqueror all in one.

Out of nowhere it seemed, it was almost as if he appeared before me like an angel out of the forest, came this 6 foot maybe 9 something ray of sunshine. He was walking away from the direction I was going and I away from where he was headed. It was as if the sun moved with him. I wasn’t going to let that stop me from looking directly at him. He was a sight to see. I was tired from walking so I put those slower steps to good use. He wore a construction vest and work boots so I knew that he was a builder, a maker of something.

His skin was butterscotch toned, slightly kissed by the sun. Dark hair, Caesar cut.. that’s about as much info as one can gather crossing paths with someone.

I love dark skinned brothers because of their immediate appearance of armor. This man demanded that my attention for detail senses to be fully activated.

As we came close in our moment of passing he smiled and said hello. And so did I. After he passed I said thank you to God and turned to make sure he was really there and not a figment of my imagination. In a steady pace he walked on about the rest of his life. There wasn’t enough time to check for a ring. But I knew it couldn’t be, for imagination purposes. I wasn’t entertaining anyone. That was as far as it went for me. As fine as he was,  he was but a glimpse of what God has for me. No pun intended.

If he was a juice, he would be called “Very Fine.”

If I was writing in my diary at the time I would have said

“Dear diary, THIS man is fine.”

In other words, he was fine. I never really label anyone as fine, because fine to me is an overall trait. It is something that is equaled to, in conclusion of. One+Two= fine. Fine is not usually attributed to the physical only.

style+swagger+class+build+spiritual+intelligence= fine.

Part of me wondered if he was “one of them” working from the other side. But if so, then the devil meant it for bad, but it was alright.  🙂

As I am nearing the 3 year mark of CS (complete singleness)I know completely and truly that I can only say that this happened from the pure goodness and Grace of God. It also lets me know that God does special things in 3’s. There is something about the power of 3. The Father, Son & Holy Spirit.  In Ecclesiastes 4 it talks about how one can’t do anything alone. It takes at least two. That’s good news for me, because I woke up one night with a question on my heart to God, a couple of months back. Asking God, “what is this about?” He responded immediately, “They think you’re alone…” and I went right back to sleep. Sometimes God be too deep in the late hours.  Because alone is what I felt. I was alone in my feelings, the challenges, the things I was going through. There were days when I didn’t even know how I was moving around. To me, I stayed in the bed on several days. Days when I would cry, somehow I was smiling and laughing.  The bible says “Though one may be overpowered, Two can defend themselves, A cord of Three strands is not quickly broken.” Single people can really do something with that. Imagine others “thinking you’re alone” when they see you go down and then when you start to rise, they see you are not alone.  That you were not walking alone, although it appeared that you were alone. In the bible one of my favorite quotes is when God says “I MYSELF, WILL HELP YOU.” That is what I believe.

We can be lead to think other people are our Saviors. Maybe they have money, maybe they have power to hire. But promotion is from God. I wait for that. Where God places you, positions you he’ll bless. And Blessed be those who will be blessed, when you are blessed.

For the single ladies and single mothers, I heard somebody say, that “Jesus is not your boyfriend ladies,” I can tell you now that I am so convinced that he wants to be. He also wants to be your baby(ies) daddy.  He’ll feed and clothe and yes HE WILL DISCIPLINE them too. (I’ll share a story later.) The thing I love about God is that he cares about the little things. Because once He knows He is your biggest desire, little things will be just that. So he takes away those things you hold dear, then pours out his love to you. Then you’ll start to get those things back and they won’t mean much compared to His love, mercy, grace, protection, favor, blessings. It seems so simple. But it’s more to just saying the good things of God, to repeat what you heard in church or your favorite gospel song sings. It’s about knowing for yourself. Knowing what all of that feels like.

In my life it seems like every little milestone that comes, it’s always the moment somebody gives up on you, is when a blessing comes through. People will play like they are on your team, then the next moment they throw their hands up. God comes with victory. People want you ready in the length of their patience. When they think you should be ready. Or they’ll be through. In Isaiah 40:11 It says “he tends his flock like a Shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he GENTLY leads those that have young. That is why I want to be with God. He loves you when you are wrong until you get it right. He knows the heart, when you desire to be better. To learn right from wrong without having to be tore down the way people think they would have a right too. And even when you’re still learning.  He Protected me from EVERYTHING. Our Society is not like that. The prison numbers indicate that so. There are people locked up from doing nothing.  With the law of the world. I am glad to know there is another law. That no one walking around, no matter their position, training or degree is higher than.

(The song I would link to this post is : Kem “Matter of Time”)