Relationships: Friendships

28 Jul

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Friendships.

The key ingredient to a long-lasting, successfully active friendship is loyalty.

To be loyal to someone is to decide to be there for them no matter what happens in life.  Loyalty is a dedication. You dedicate your heart to them and it is unwavering. With loyalty comes the remaining factors such as trust and honesty.

I can’t imagine a successful friendship where one party is loyal and the other is not. In speaking of a person to person friendship. Although I’m sure such friendships do exist.

If you are going to be there for someone through the ups and downs of life, it is human nature for you to expect that they’d do the same for you. That’s an initial thought when processing the concept of friendship to someone. Even if you come to learn their ideas may differ.

Who you connect to as a friend should be automatic. Along the same lines of connecting to people in romantic relationships.

If we interact with people without expectation or any reservations and deal with each other without the sense of entitlement, we can usually see how far we are supposed to go with someone. Without having to enforce the issue itself. Now whether we choose to take heed or ignore these signs are completely depending upon ourselves. Even in those situations where we know the introduction should be the ending with some people.

The reality in crossing paths with people is that, not every good-looking, successful or great characteristic individual is meant for a long-term contract in your life.

In the event that we get closer to someone just to find out that very information, we should have no fear in letting go. Without thinking “it may not be anything better for me.”

You don’t have to connect yourself to anyone. Connections happen on their own.  You don’t have to accept any situation by forcing yourself to it. What you label it or allow it to be, is what it will be.

 

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Time.

Time does not qualify as a reason to identify someone as a friend. Specifically in friendships that we hang on to over the years that are stressful and unhealthy. Ones that we see no positive growth in. Friendships do take time, effort, growth, togetherness, acceptance and love. You have to love a person past titles and what you think they should be to you. Not all of them survive and maintain the same status during the times that we experience separate changes in life and growth.

If you’ve been friends with someone for a long time and you question that friendship in your mind and heart, there is nothing wrong with assessing if it is built off of time or the actual friendship.

 

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Honesty.

 

You have to have honesty with a “friend” for them to really be a friend to begin with. Honesty meaning truth and not being afraid to disagree or any other consequences that may come as a result of honesty. Telling the truth is more important in a friendship than hiding or bottling feelings in to keep the atmosphere pleasant.

A friendship may be more vulnerable or at risk of loss due to dishonesty. Say what needs to be said beforehand, while things are in good graces. While the climate is pleasant. All parties might be more open to hearing what issues are at hand.

To bring something up that you’ve been holding in,  in a disagreement later, maybe one that you didn’t initiate will look like you were harboring bad feelings. A ticking time bomb waiting for the right moment to explode, with everything.

Deal with issues as they come up, so that there isn’t a need to keep a record of wrong. Especially for those friendships that matter to you.

If you are not going to deal with people on a friendship level, make it known their status to you. As it is true, not everyone that you think is a friend, is a friend forever. Some people really do come in your life for a season for a reason.

Don’t be fooled by categories on social media sites. Real friendships are those of whom you talk to, relate to, and spend time in if there was no FaceBook. After you’ve logged out.

 

“ A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” –Arnold H. Glasow

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley

“The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you, when you are right.” –Mark Twain

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” –Proverbs 27:6

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One Response to “Relationships: Friendships”

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  1. NOT A FANTASY | hastywords - July 31, 2013

    […] Relationships: Friendships (vemichelle.wordpress.com) […]

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