Baggage: Don’t Claim It!

20 Jan

By Veronica M. Benson

Baggage 3

Baggage 2

I think it’s disrespectful for someone to present themselves in such a way that’s appealing to another person and then get close to them just to reveal a life of unsettled baggage.

Men should not be complaining to a woman about their personal lives and problems because they seem like a nice person and are attracted to you.

I’m sure everyone has something to deal with in their lives but I don’t think a person should be measured by if they can tolerate or deal with your personal dilemmas & situations.

Women who are single, baggage free or not baggage burdened and are living successful, thriving lives are not magnets or B&B’s for good-looking men who need assistance in ending a bad relationship or moving on from an unstable living arrangement; or any other unsettled situation. (Your problems are your own.)

Women are not responsible to help you deal with those. At any point, but especially in a dating situation less than 1 year. You shouldn’t look for her to nor should she feel obligated to.

Men should be more responsible and careful in their selection and approaches, in life in general. I believe that men get warning signs when they are initiating something with the wrong woman. Usually when a game is presented in secret, it will end with a man’s downfall. It will fall apart for the one who pursues someone wrongfully or with the wrong intentions.

I think it’s interesting that men are willing to air their problems and baggage to women so easily. Which to me, in my own viewpoint is beyond me. Complaining about things a man should have control over. It seems as though because of the fact that we as women are caring and nurturing, men take that for granted and use it against us.

They will try to enter our lives and hearts through sympathy. It has become part of a man’s intention, to get a woman by running to her from another with complaints and baggage he created. Instead of working to get a woman’s anything. That would be a better investment in the long run.

I don’t know, because I’ve been unaware of the dating scene, where this idea of burdening women with men’s problems comes from at all. Especially so early on in any situation. These observations have been somewhat humorous on an ironic level but at the same time perplexing. To me it’s simple. Keep your problems and issues to yourself if you’re trying to deal with other people.

Dating is supposed to be fun. The beginning stages of getting to know someone. To learn if your feelings match your attraction to them.

It’s not supposed to be men burdening women with their unfulfilled dreams, desires & wants. It’s not supposed to be men moving into women’s houses, apartments, etc to get their start. Or to have somewhere they can go.

God gave Adam everything before He gave him a woman. Eve. I believe this was done for a specific reason. To show men there are requirements that should be met before even thinking about having a wife. To make visible to women that we were not made to work for a man but that a man should work always and constantly to maintain a rich, fulfilling life for himself and his woman. I believe this is the way things should be. And every woman should. It’s hard to settle when you really believe what you believe. That’s why “No” has been the answer for every proposal I’ve received from past relationships. Some women cling to a man’s word and I like words…. but if the work ethic, the dreamer and every other important element aren’t all collaborating to produce some successful action to match the words, then to me you’re trying to convince me of something you don’t even believe in. You have to want to work and work hard.

In another perspective, maybe God should have had Adam work for everything that was given freely to him with only the responsibility to take care of it. So that he wouldn’t have let anything or anyone jeopardize it for him. Which was in turn the curse he received for disobedience.

In our present society, it’s as if the tables have turned completely. As independent as I am, I never confuse what the world says with what God says. As a single woman I can be as independent as I want to be. But if any man wants to make me his wife, he will have already laid the foundation for having me as his wife. Not asking me to go to city hall for our marriage because it saves money. And this was the deal offered to me with a previous so called proposal. I couldn’t believe it. I know we have our different views on these types of things, but marriage is meant to be special. When you get the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, I believe it should be a special occasion in representation of the great God who put two people together.

Men were designed to carry burdens without needing a woman to do it for them or with them.
If you as a woman, think it is the way to take care of a man laying up under you, in your house, then that’s the life you will have.
Women were not made to take care of men, that’s not the way God intended it to be.
Your life will form or conform according to what you believe.

The comfort that men think they will get from laying under a woman should be deposited into their belief, faith and trust in God’s word. Which provides a peace that they may not find living in a woman’s house.

I’ve seen and have experienced some unusual circumstances because of the ways men think. I’ve seen a man who one woman had him by his house and another had him by the hand. How was this possible? Men don’t have the right things in mind first. Because they don’t have the right things in their minds first it comes out in their lives exactly how it is in their minds and hearts. Scattered, chaotic, disastrous and drama-filled. Some men don’t accept that they are the creators for the drama they are experiencing in their own lives.

Baggage. If you don’t want baggage, don’t be baggage to someone. We all go through some things that may have people and things lingering or hanging on to us in ways that they shouldn’t be. Which causes unnecessary drama and strife. Like dead weight usually does, it won’t be able to hold on to you or hold you down forever, it will fall off. If you have it, it’s yours to deal with and carry or not carry until you are freed from it.

* Some women want those Louis Vuitton bags to carry, who are already walking around with baggage that comes at a much higher price than Louis Vuitton ever can. It’s your life! You don’t have to carry that baggage, put it down. Let it go. Make room for your blessings. Put the baggage down, so you can carry your Louis Vuitton bags šŸ™‚ *

Baggage

Baggage 1

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