Living In The Past

27 Sep

To some people the object of the game of the past is to get so far away from it, call it moving on and never have to deal with again or address it if someone brings it up. The past is the past. 

For me, having dealt with the past means I can deal with it presently. I can face it without reliving it and letting it upset my present life. Even if I have unanswered questions.

I decided to go pass a few places of my past that has the most dreadful memories from the things I experienced. But they happened to me. Not only me, my son as well.

I have to know for myself if seeing these places has an affect on me.  In all actuality from my grace, mercy & peace given me, my words about these places are very modest.

If I could describe them all in summation, they would collectively be called “The Horror Stories of My Life.” No better time than now to visit my “Haunted Houses” with Halloween around the corner.

When I think back to the reality of what happened to me in these places, in a sequence of events, one place after the other, I can’t do much more than praise God for wrapping His whole being around me & my life.

I can’t worry about what those who were involved in opposition might think or feel about me, in the best words possible, “talking about my life.” In other words “Telling my story.”

An apartment I lived in on the West Loop that foreclosed while I was residing there. The foreclosure is not the half of the story. It looks like someone might have managed to turn it into a nice home for themselves now.

The back area of the unit. Garage & back gate.

King Elementary. My son’s first grade school where he started Kindergarten.

These are current pictures of the school today. It has been closed down and boarded up since he attended there in 2011. Had they known they really had a “King” enrolled there.

My family’s first home that we moved to after living in our last residence for over 20 years. A beautiful house on the outside, in a good neighborhood. But holds some painful memories as well. It also flooded on more than one occasion. The flooding was a sign, a red flag that I missed.

Having lived with people, family included, one thing I am grateful for today is my own household. Tradition can be the hardest form of yoke to break, and it will never happen living in someone else’s residence. My ideas always clash with anyone else’s because I believe in obtaining  the true better that I know is within me. That breaks tradition, generational curses, negative family ties and anything that plagues a household from being healthy and that prevents it from achieving it’s highest form of functionality. Family values has to be approached intentionally. Day-to-day, like a business you want to succeed.

My beliefs are my beliefs, I can’t expect everyone to want the same. But as for me & my household…….

I’m the Queen on the throne. 👸🏽

And she will reign!

Thank you God for these places of my past. Their decay, dismantling lets me know they were temporary on purpose. I thank you for the pain that I went through that was supposed to leave me dead with & just like each one of these situations. Compared to my destiny, my future, these places are no more than a hallway to my divine purpose. You saved & restored my life and you continue to keep me safe. Thank you for loving me more than me. For resurrecting me from death. Your love is my only hope. Without you my enemies succeed. Thank you for my past, present & future. And the ability to face each of them proudly & confidently. I love you Lord Jesus. I just want to be with you. My heart is humbled. Each time I am knocked down, thrown out, pushed away, I will come to you, crawling if I have to. There is no better place than to be with you. I also pray for those who think they have all the insight to what’s wrong with me, because you’ve put my pain on display for your glory, but have yet to examine themselves & seek you with a right heart. I love you. I pray that you’ll be a shield around me against their attacks on me. My true help, friend & son’s Father. In your wonderful name, Jesus Christ, AMEN!


One Response to “Living In The Past”

  1. Angel from heaven September 28, 2015 at 8:07 pm #

    Great story! I’m sorry to hear about your painful life. May God bless you and your son.

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