Full-Time, All-The-Time & On-Time!

30 Mar

   

 A Mother is what I am everyday all day. When I wake up in the morning and throughout my day. I discovered this truth by how much I think of my son. While he is with me and when he’s not. As much as I think of him, I pray for him. To me, it is a joy, an honor to pray for another human being as much as I do for him. I never take prayer for granted or lightly. I’m specific when I talk to God. Furthermore, God expects my prayer. At some point in my life I looked around and saw that a lot of women who are mothers, are frustrated. So early on in my Motherhood I prayed to God telling Him that I don’t want to be a tired, bitter, frustrated ‘Single Mother.’ That I didn’t want to be the kind of mother taking her child/children for granted. And my eyes were opened. Prayer for some things have to be prayed early. God granted me perspective to see what was going on around me and helped me to pray myself through & around something I could have very well become. Before I knew what direction my life was headed. 

While some women choose their careers over being with their children & at home, I have the option to do the same. Still in my research & evidence, nothing is more important than my being open and available for my son. To maintain our strong connection requires prayer, sacrifice & a continual belief in God. It is constant & can be hard work. 

Nothing compares to the results that I get from this position in my life. This is work that never ends. A position that I am always required to grow & I am always being promoted in. 

Like all positions/jobs/roles I’ve held, I excel. Being mommy is the only reward I see. The only one that I need. Everything else doesn’t matter. 

  
My job is being a Mother to my son. I’m the only one in this position, with this title and there is no one else who can fulfill this position but me. I’ve been chosen. I’ve been appointed. 24/7, I am a mother always working & thinking about the betterment of my son & his mother. 

Currently I am a single mother. Which I love. With God helping me & directing me. Despite some changes I’ve been through, my life feels perfect for me. Even though it isn’t perfect. Who else is celebrating being single 7 years and could live the rest of their lives that way, happily? I love what I have going on with God and I know he’s nowhere near finished. 

I also know that God can send a physical person to be of representation for Him. In my son’s life. This is the only kind of person I will accept in my life as a husband, that can then be good enough to be a Father/Daddy, a mentor & positive male role model to a special little boy. 

When my son is with his biological father, I see it as a season. A growth & strengthening season for both my son & I. He’s had to endure so much including heartache because of his father’s decisions. He has never been my husband. The day that I realized this was the same day my son was born. It was if blinders had been removed from my eyes. Despite life, I never wonder about the miracles of God. I know there is always one in store. 

And I pray that the miracle that will be performed for Gods glory in our lives, will bless and draw this very special little boy, my son in his own free will & acknowledgement of God moving in his life & working on his behalf. Like he first was called at 3 years old. I imagine that as his Father, God will continually pursue a relationship with him. Constantly renewing their bond. 

Black Men.

I never keep resent in my heart for a male or man. Throughout my life & all that I’ve experienced because of men. After my son was born I realized that I can’t raise a black man with anger inside of me towards black men. I find that I go through a lot of disappointing situations or bad situations involving black men. I know now it is because the devil wants me so frustrated, mad, bitter & angry at black men so that I can’t raise the one God sent through me & gave me to raise to be the man God wants him to be. That goes against the prayer that I prayed early on. 

My role in my son’s life is more important than any other person in his life. I know that my relationship with my son is the most important relationship in his life. And I’ve had to fight for it. I’m always fighting! 

My position as a mother is the most important position I can ever have. God has entrusted me with brand new life. Completely innocent to the ways of the world. From day one I’ve been in prayer about him. That means I have to do, believe, pray & achieve God-sized things in my son’s life. We don’t have time for little things. Belittlers belittle because they haven’t experienced the Greatness of God. They have to go. We cannot be equally yoked with unbelievers. Family, friend or neighbor. Whoever is not for the purpose in between our lives is against it. 

God has been amazing to my son & I from day one. The way he had been keeping us & carrying us while we go through the pass ways of those who change their minds about us on a daily basis. Those who say they are for us and didn’t know until they realized that the “us” God has planned for His purpose doesn’t include them!

(People will try to get in the way, tear things apart or destroy it completely when they see Gods favor on you & not themselves.)

When my son was born I began to see the true colors of everyone that was around me. Every single person had attacked me & found ways to attack me pertaining to my son who is now & who was then an innocent child. For that I feel sorry for those individuals. God loves his little children. And if they knew how much He loves this one. 

My passion is for the victory in my son’s & my life. For praying for my son. Which reveals to me a greater & divine purpose for someone’s life.  This is my focus & work. 

It doesn’t matter what job I’ve worked, like in the past, no job will ever come before my son in my life or take precedence. I am his mother first & foremost. Like He always have, God will take care of the rest. *

“Faith without works is dead.” 

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