Tag Archives: life

Happy Birthday Planning!📒🗓🖊🖋📌✅

1 Sep

In my Happy Planner! 

We love to celebrate! #AndWeWillCelebrate

#Birthdays #AndOtherImportantDates

👏🏾🙌🏽🙏🏽

🏃🏾👦🏾💙🎁

Advertisements

Nov 1st 2011/Nov 1st 2015 

1 Nov


I feel so grateful to be able to face this day November 1st still with the memories of the most traumatic thing that happened to me

on this very day 4 years ago, but today with strength, the favor of God & his blessings despite the difficulties I go through. He never gives up on me. The mistreatment, misjudgment and slander I suffer….. He continuously pursues me with his love & Fatherly affection assuring me that it’s all wrong & He will make it right. (That it’s all a test) I never imagined that I, “Veronica” would have ever in my life, be dealing with the things that I am, but in God that qualifies me as the perfect candidate. Without His grace & mercy my son & I wouldn’t have been able to make it through Nov 1, 2011 to this day.
I’m so Thankful for God never giving up on me & always being the one that’s there for me!!! Accepting & dealing with me exactly how I am. 😘
When everybody else is against me, me & God are the majority. He never lets me believe, let alone entertain the things that people say, no matter who.
Instead of wallowing in the pain of a tragic event, He has grown us on every year🙌🏽
Instead of trying to climb out of the hole in our hearts that we were left for dead in, 4 years ago, we are planning & looking forward to a very special Holiday Season this year.🍁🎄
God is always there for us❤️

Tears In My Lip Gloss

30 Oct

IMG_20150417_143018

I only want you to see me beautiful

A face full of make-up

When you watch me dream

And the moment I wake up

I love being beautiful from my soul

When a woman is being loved the way she should be

There is this never-ending glow

Tears fall from my eyes

And on to my lips

I smear them in together and wear with my gloss

A glimpse of myself in the mirror

Must I carry this cross

With the right blend of foundation, blush and eyeshadow; a post of the perfect selfie

Surely screams out to others that I need someone to help me

Several years already

Can’t I continue on to the end

As I make it one more day

Hands that are ready & willing to heal me once again

I feel sad for the little girl I see, as I look around and I get to see myself for myself; my very best friend

I remember seeing my face now as a little girl

And how I knew then that I could have the world

If only I could have warned her

Kept her a girl a little longer

I even loved my lip gloss back then

Features unfinished, I always thought the me I saw was the most beautiful woman

Playing with my dolls or listening to music.

My pretend play was never quite pretend

I always found a way to believe for my life the things that I imagined

Little girl, being a girl is much easier than being a mother

I would have told her

Before she became a woman.

Eyes fill with water more now, than when you were a child.

I put on my favorite lip flavor or color & face forward

The mirror approves

My tears stored away, I don’t reveal a single bruise

A closet full of shoes

Will run away the blues

You are worth more than money

And the gift that any man wouldn’t want to lose

Soon the only tears you’ll cry

Will fall from your eyes

& be of joy

All the pain, the sadness will be no more

Lip glossed lips, happiness their kiss

The beating of your heart, no longer you’ll miss

No more heartache

You’ll have everything & no one will take

Little woman you are on purpose

God made you, not a mistake

Some call you stranger

He called you, angel.

Put on your lipgloss

It outshines the tear stains

You’ll go on to a new life

God’s glory to obtain

A masterpiece

Not a canvas for pain

Every part of your story counts

Pull out your makeup & paint

There’s nothing that can water you down

100 proof God claimed

You’ve got the victory now

You’ve got the victory now. 🙌🏽

Perspective

14 Oct

I’ve become so dependent on you

As independent as I love to be

You’ve turned my whole world upside down

I don’t recognize a thing

Not even my own my being

How is this living?

How is this life more abundantly?

Though I have no fear

Everyday I’m scared

That the horrors of days I thought I’d fade away

Are once again near

How is it fun to hurt me?

I smile, in hope that someone can see that I’m hurting

When I give in to you,

You punish me

For the love that I have, that you need

It’s as if you hate me

The pain you cause, making me feel that you don’t care about me at all

You make me feel so lost

Now that everyone else has given up on me, you’re the last place for me to fall

Single for 6 years, nobody knows that you’re here with me

I don’t get to fall in love or hold somebody’s hand, you tell me I’m your woman & you’re my man

Who can see? Who can believe?

I used to love & admire everything I thought you were, you appeared to be an angel to me

Now all I get is torment from you, while everyone else calls me crazy.

Now that I’ve come to know the truth, I see you were hiding, blinding me.

I used to be so strong, what is this mess that has been made of me?

I long for the taste of peace and the sweetness of being free.

Whose concerned about a destiny when the thorns in their sides are piercing?

Everyday I walk around, being pushed, pulled and hurt by you

Just to lay my head down at night, tears streaming from my eyes, having to hear your unwanted “I love you”

Moments before my pain rains again

What’s a girl to do?

Crying out to my Christ Savior

Who is not saving me from……. you.

There is nothing to gain

Money? The whole world watching, like my life is easy? Looking like I’ve made it because I’m on TV

Two letters that might define you & me, our names & destiny.

Against my pain, it’s just not enough for me.

I’d give it all up without thinking, just to be free…… From you.

The whole world is already watching you with admiration in their eyes

While I get abused, mistreated & used by another side they’d never believe of you.

My life on hold, while yours go on

Everyday I try to escape your grasp

At the same time wondering if it’ll be my last

Death is around me constantly, it would take my life if it weren’t enjoying torturing me.
Yet this is love?

Love has been taken from me, forsaken me, mistaken me for someone who hates me

I try to look past it all & look at it from my heart

I know that your life has been painful & hard

Hurting me, I feel you deserved that

What can we possibly build & heal with revenge & attacks

I thought Kings or at least a man, would never treat his woman like that

Don’t tell me I’ll have to forgive & still love you

All of your pictures, you’re smiling content & happy

Because you make love to me without asking

You’re not in search of Happily Ever After

You came into my life on purpose, acting like you were pursuing a perfect little queen,

But you turned it & brought hurting

I am hurting

Nobody that has said “love” to me, have heard this,

Several times I’ve given them these words

They think money & circumstances

Surely a God whose richer & King of all kings

Wouldn’t be so cruel to attach you to a man with a little money so he can learn unlearned things, whom behind the curtains of money & power is nothing more than a simple human being.

People only see things & with their eyes

It’s hard seeing from heavenly heights

Still having to walk around in this life

But I’m supposed to believe

There is so much for me to look forward to

You’ve built your whole life around me

Making it known that all you are & have

Is missing a Queen.

I don’t know if you’re a King; A Queen is always how I thought of me

Since I was a little girl, a princess, & a Queen yet to be.

Not even the damage you think you’ve caused

Will be able to undo my flawed perfection

Being special to me & His selection

A music company because I like to sing

Television & movie production because the world needs to see me

All these small, things you were made to build around me

When the greatest of them all is my love & having me in your company

Your victory is with my heart not in between my legs,

Although you own it like it’s yours when you lay beside me in bed

Your argument is this, all of my pain & everything that I’m going through is preordained

Nothing, not even you, can keep me from all that God has planned.

Make no mistake that it will be up to me, despite all of this, if I’ll choose to stay & hold your hand.

Love doesn’t have to hurt first to work

I will not live on this belief

Although it’s being enforced by those who have said “I love you to me.”

I never asked for you. I prayed a prayer and my whole life started changing.

Things fell apart. Then you arrived with dented & rusted armor

You stood in my presence, in my space, as if you were apart of it.

Pretending to be my Prince Charming.

I never ran to your arms, because all I could see

You were here, desperately pursuing as if you needed something from me.

Sure enough broken little boy you did indeed.

Whoever sent you should have told you, the love that I give is for precious little children,

For healing, not for villains.

You can’t take from me & claim I gave

Don’t come running into my life like the rescuer when you’re the one in need of being saved.

I see you clearly, for exactly what you are

And you won’t find me looking up to you as if you’re a star.

You cause hurt because part of you still needs to feel safe from harm

Don’t stand to fight me when you know you lay in my arms.

You’re my enemy

Because you want what’s in me

It will be of no value to you, nothing at all

Unless it’s given.

So far, you’re looking forward to the beginning of our love together

As I patiently await the ending.

Summer Goodbyes! Looking Forward to my Future! 

5 Oct

It’s always a little hard to say goodbye to Summer. I’m a Summer baby & I love the season.
Seasons change with the weather as well as in our lives. Change is not always at the temperature we like, but we can accept & grow with change in any season in our lives.

So I embrace it!

I’m looking forward to all of the festivities of Fall.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  

Happy Single Mother’s Day!

31 May

mothers23

In celebration of Mother’s day for the entire month of May I’ve been posting all about Mothers.

It’s always a celebration to me to be a mother. Everyday feels like Mother’s Day.

When my son was born in 2006, I knew that I had to be somebody special to him. I knew that my life and work had to involve my son and me being his mother for me to be happy. Because trying to work different jobs and trusting daycares to do what I knew that I only I could, wasn’t going to sit well on my heart. And sure enough, it didn’t. Each attempt for me putting him in daycare and my going to someone else’s business, to work a job never lasted.

It wasn’t long before I knew I was only fighting myself trying to leave my son to go to work, knowing that I wanted to be at home with him. Knowing that I needed to be, because those moments are precious and only happens once.

I chose my son over everything that I wanted. Or that I thought I wanted.

I can’t say that it was easy, because part of me longed to be working during the time I was at home with him. I know this comes from the fact that I started working at an early age. I was 12-years old when I got my first job. Somehow I had always managed to work or get a job from that point on.

Being a single mother you don’t always have the luxury to choose to be at home with your children. So I always see this as a gift from God. However, because I was the only one with my perspective I had faced a lot of difficulties from individuals who claimed that they were supportive of my decisions for my son. I should have been aware that their support was under conditional terms. Nevertheless, God has always been there for my son and I.

After my decision to focus my life on my son, I had always been blessed to get the right job opportunities, so that I didn’t have to leave him and most importantly, I found my purpose during those precious, priceless & very difficult times. I guess the saying “nobody said it would be easy” can apply to any area of life. It definitely has not been easy. But I have a strength that cannot be deterred or knocked down.

Above all, when I look back over pictures, videos and remember those times of the moments I was with my son instead of working, I have no regret. I know there is no other place I should have been than with him. Before I had my son, I remember being so busy with work and school, plus making all kinds of plans to leave home when I finished. But instead my life got whisked down a different direction, that I never saw coming. I now know that my son was sent into my life from God, as an anchor to help me sit down and be still. So that He could tell me the plans that He has for my life, opposed to the plans that I had for my life. Although there were some similarities, my plans were nothing at all like His. In addition to that, I get to share my dreams and purpose with someone I gave birth to. Someone I have been pouring education, life, love and teaching everything that I can, into. While my son had become my “work,” God was working on me and for me. Everything that I was learning from God, I could give away to my son right away. Or at the right time. But the greatest miracle I’ve witnessed after seeing my son being born, was seeing him answer to the call of Christ at just 3-years old. At that moment, I was for sure, that God was in control. It made sense to me, because I believed that He would do everything that I asked him to.

I gave up everything that I wanted to be with my son. To raise and prepare him for those times we wouldn’t always be around each other. Little did I know that it wasn’t just about when he would be going to school when he would be away from me.

I gave up the jobs that I know my Bachelors degree in Journalism would have afforded me. I gave up a relationship with a man, very early in my son’s life, because I chose to work and grow up a boy to a man, than to have my son seeing me fighting and arguing, possibly marrying & divorcing someone because I didn’t want to have to choose any man over my son. So with those decisions that I have made, I have no regrets. My heart has been right for every decision that I’ve made in regards to my son’s life, as his mother. And there is nothing I haven’t brought to God concerning His son.

Living my life on the course that God has put me on and guides me through, in my 6 years of being single, I haven’t had time for men because it’s as if my life is getting a brand new start for my son and me. We’ve dealt with some very difficult times and we still face them today, as I’m writing this. With God on my side, as a single mother, I have to guide the oars of our lives until these raging waves are behind us and can never return. So, my son has never seen me with anyone romantically or in any relationships. Anyone that I have dated he has never met. Simply because I don’t think it is necessary to introduce someone into my son’s life, because we might think we like each other. I know everyone is not this extreme, but it’s important to me. The man that my son will meet and gets to meet my son, will be the one. My husband. If God made one for me. He might have intended for me to be single for the rest of my life, and that’s fine too. Who can take care of me better than God?

What I do know is, if there is a man to be in our lives, God will make sure that he is somebody that He can put in full representation of Himself in my son’s and my life. As a man, a husband & a Father. Everything that I am and have to be for my son, he will understand and nurture. He will be fulfilled enough to not have to make me choose him over my son to prove a point.

Most importantly, he will love my son as if he’s his own without me ever having to ask him to.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day everyday!

For the single mothers: Your children are your work & your focus. Be faithful in that and know if & when God wants a man in the picture, He will send the right one at the right time.

Until then everything you need, God has. ❤

Happy Mother’s Day!

wpid-img_20150526_193823_edit.jpg

I can’t get enough of this rainbow. It was so perfect! So beautiful & amazing the way it just appeared.

I knew God was giving me a sign when He put it there. I haven’t seen one man who can make a rainbow. lol

#Amazing

A Girl Can Dream Can’t She? <3

7 Feb

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image