Tag Archives: new in 2014

Sweetest Day!

19 Oct

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It never mattered to me the origin of holidays including those such as Sweetest Day. If I found it worth my while and if I’m interested,  I celebrate.

When I saw a post on Facebook saying it was today, I was surprised that I let it sneak up on me and my not knowing about it. It’s not like it falls on the same day every year like Christmas.

My initial reaction wasn’t that I wished I had a boyfriend to celebrate the day with. As a matter of fact I made sure that if not with my son that I would be spending the day alone. So no dates as well.

After my last relationship I decided to be single for a year. One year turned into 2, 2 into 3, 3 years into 4, 4 into 5… and here I am a happily single woman for over 5 years now. At some point I realized I can be single forever. I believe this is the point we have to reach. Being happy completely alone. Embracing being single as if this is all that we’ll ever get. Not one moment you’re happy being single and the next you’re not.

When you’re used to being in relationships, one after another, sometimes to avoid loneliness, then it can be tough to take on the challenges of staying single. Days like today “Sweetest Day” will seem like the end of the world to you.

But it’s not.

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I’ve been blessed to have a great companion, someone I can teach and watch learn & grow.  At the same time I learn from him. My son is the biggest blessing I have ever received in my life. I could have never imagined knowing or being in the kind of relationship I have with him.

When I decided it’s just going to be me and him, I found out that there is more for me as it pertains to love.

I was only looking forward to raising my son as a single mother praying that God will be the help in my life with him. And He has been.

It’s so disappointing the curse society has made being “single” out to be. Because of the time I’ve been single and my youth, my mother doesn’t think it’s a good idea. When I’m in court, I’m questioned as if I’m supposed to have someone else. Most likely judged because I don’t. 

So when days like today roll around each year I am excited to get to share them with my son or no one at all. Somewhere along my journey in being single I realized that I would only share these special days with someone that will call me his girlfriend and soon after his wife.

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That’s special to me. It’s something to look forward to. Because I’ve been proposed to on more than one occasion but my heart wouldn’t let me do it, if even in my mind I thought I wanted to.

When I see friends and other females trying to get their man to be right and do what they want them to, I know they think it’s the way love goes. I had to learn too. That there is someone in the world for you, already, who will be everything you want & need.

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So I’ll gladly spend holidays or any days alone, romancing and taking care of me. I don’t know when a Mr. Right will come along, but I do know that nobody can love me better than me.

Happy Sweetest Day! ♥

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Conversations with my son

19 Sep

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Walking around our neighborhood before reaching home, my son spotted a donation box. Those big blue or green boxes placed throughout the city that accepts donations of clothing and shoes. I see them so often that I didn’t realize we had one so close to our house. He says “look there goes one of those boxes,” and asked me if I remember them.

We had given away & donated so much stuff in our old neighborhood in the West Loop. That was a few years ago, so I was surprised that he remembered it so vividly. He then says “I can bring my old shoes, the Converse(s) that I can’t wear anymore to put in there.” That made me smile to myself. Just thinking how exposure and talking to children about doing good things can stay in their memories just as well as the lyrics to all of the violent and degrading rap music with catchy hooks that could make those of us who know better, sing-a-long to it.

This was a conversation that either bought up the question or that had stemmed from the topic of him asking me. “Who created God?” Which is a great question! I only hoped to provide just as good of an answer. Before having to read the book of Genesis in the Bible to him. By the end of our discussion, part 1 of it at least, he understood that God is the Beginning of everything. The First of all.

Conversations with my son make me feel there is hope. The bible says “Train a child in the way he SHOULD go.” When a child is not trained, it will take form of and like a sponge soak up everything that is around him, without having direction. When children are being exposed to all kinds of negativity & indecency, but have positive influence and is being pointed down the right path, it can have a greater impact and outweigh the negatives. But they have to be trained. Training involves a lot of repetition, patience and love.

It gives me hope knowing that I’m not fighting a losing battle. Having my son read the bible on his Ipad, opposed to playing games all the time. Listening to Smokie Norful’s gospel music on his radio in the background while he’s brushing his teeth and while bathing. Constantly talking about God. Which I realize it’s something that people get tired of. Coming up with new and interesting ways to help my son discover new knowledge is something I don’t mind. Despite the latest dance craze, trap song or rap battle. All that is popular in the youth’s culture today.

Talking to children is the best kind of education, if parents talk to them the right way and about the right things. I absolutely enjoy talking to my son. It’s communication, an exchange of information & education. Children are learning it’s true, but they are the most honest and intelligent people to engage with.

The best insight on parenting I can share in dealing with children, is to keep an open heart and mind. See your role as a parent, under God. Most importantly instead of seeing the person as a child, see the child as a person.

Children look up to parents as everything. Including, as teachers.

Preparation

10 Sep

Preparation is an important season in your life. June 2014 022

By Veronica M. Benson
Writer/Freelance Journalist

> Preparation requires “being still.” Sometimes when you prefer not to.

> Preparation requires pursuing & seeking God. Getting direction from Him.

> Sometimes what you want to do is not the thing you will be doing when getting prepared.

> Preparation requires being well studied. In God’s Word & in your area of expertise. There is always more to learn.

> Be true to who you are when getting prepared. Focus your eyes on you. Not others.

> God is with you in your season of preparation. Although some of the things that you may experience, can make you feel as if He is not. The bible says He disciplines those that He loves.

> Preparation takes patience. You’re getting prepared, but you’re waiting on God to elevate you. To take you to heights that no man ever could. To heights where no man can ever bring you down from. Promotion is from God.

> In preparation there are many tests. You won’t fail them all; but you will not pass them all either. (God is gracious & merciful) He wants you to know that. Make sure you try to see the lesson in them all.

> Each time you are knocked around, because it might feel like that at the time, get to a place where you can remember your faith & hold on to it when you have nothing else to hold on to. (Like, finding a rock in the middle of a raging sea.)

> In your preparation season, you may experience some feelings of being alone. That’s probably because you are. No one will understand what you are going through.
Even if you live in a house full of people that you call & call you family. That say I love you all day.

> Getting ready for God’s promise takes preparation. In getting you prepared, you have to be “alone.” (What God has for you, is for YOU!) Not her, Not him, Not them. Jeremiah 12:1-5

> There is so much to learn in your season of preparation. Embrace it! Getting prepared is the most important thing that you can do, upon meeting your DESTINY!

> Keep a journal, a notebook or something to document the days of your journey. No matter how long it takes, each day of life is a gift & a blessing. Everyday counts when you know you’re going somewhere. Even while you be still.

> Encourage yourself. Make everything around you right now, work on your behalf. For inspiration & encouragement in your day to day life. From the music you choose, to the things you read on social media & those things you invest your time and money into. Let it be for your growth & self empowerment.

> I’ve heard before that “those who get prepared, get paid.”

> Get over loneliness. You’re going to the top! And you know how they say it’s lonely there. How will you deal with it then? YOU are enough. You have to be enough most of the times. When you look around and all you see is you, don’t be discouraged. Use that time & space to pour into yourself. With prayer, reading & everything that fills you with the right fuel for spiritual growth. I guarantee if you have other people around you, like children they will benefit from your spiritual development.

> I’ve heard & witnessed that God always sends someone. Even if He comes Himself. So that you’re never really alone.

> In your season of preparation, make sure that you are getting PREPARED!

Happy Birthday Caleb!

2 Sep

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The climb

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8 years ago Labor Day weekend I went into labor naturally & gave birth to my very own Angel & best friend. Today he celebrates his 8th birthday on Labor Day!

God is the greatest Creator of moments & memories in our lives. There is a Divine journey we are on and He has been blessing us & keeping us the whole way.

I thank God for our son,
Caleb.

Happy Birthday Baby!

God Bless YOU! ♥

~Mommy~

National Girlfriend’s Day!

2 Aug

August is the month of my birthday, so along with celebrating my birthday I’m celebrating some of the other national days that are being recognized throughout the month!

Today is National Girlfriend’s day!

Happy National Girlfriend’s Day!!!!

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Closer

21 Jul

Black Skinned Man

5 Jun

By Veronica M. Benson

I love his black armor
His strong black darkness
The skin that he wears
Is perfect to me

His skin speaks louder than any charm
The protection that I feel in his arms

Has nothing to do with his muscles
But I love to look at them & touch them
The way that he carries himself
His style and his hustle

So rare in form
I can’t name these sudden feelings that I feel for him.
How is it that the way you’ve been made
Drives me crazy,
you’re the perfect piece of chocolate eye candy

One wrong turn with the wrong one
Can never turn me against
What my soul wants

Black man, when I see your hand in mine
Nothing looks better than us
How you were created alone, makes you fine

The way you are
Your love and your heart
The way you do your thang,
Your distinction in the crowd in which you hang
Love for yourself & your hood fame
Your Ralph Lauren & Kenneth Cole tags
Your originality your swag

Black skinned, dark skinned man you were designed FINE
You are a star everyday, like the stars, you shine.

Then there’s the way you make your love with mine.
I love to look at it
Just your complexion
Is enough to make a mess of me
Your black skin is a masterpiece
How it looks when our skin connects
Your gift in mine
Feels like much more than just sex
I love your full lips kissing any part of my body,
Your love is too hard to forget

What is it about this species, this dark skinned man
Its certainly, not just one thing about him
To name how he is, so perfectly

It’s like his skin says that he was created,
Clothed in a mind
That can never be defined
Out of all the men in the world
I feel special lying here next to this dark skinned man of mine.

Your ways with me are different, special than any other kind.
When life is unusual
I run to my black skinned, dark skinned man to find
Peace and love, a hero one of a kind

Safe and secure
A taste so sweet & pure
For every pain, my relief, my cure
So happy to say I’m yours

Your dark skin
Is my peace from God
I’m connected completely
At a single sight

Words will never tell
How your skin puts me under a spell

My dark skinned man.

Black skinned man for your love,
There is no cost
Your worth cannot be bought

What are you smoking that for,
Nothing can get you higher than God,
You’re blessed because you keep your shoulders high in what you already got
Though it’s not all that you want.

You are so special to me
And I recognize what you are just from what my eyes are seeing
My man, my KING

Street smart & educated
You were made to lead
Not to be dictated

Black skinned man
Is life a little harder
Because your skin is darker?
Don’t believe being beautiful will keep you from going farther, than where you are
Yes beautiful is what I call ya, all of y’all, because beautiful is what you are

You were designed from the mind of the Most High
Do not damper your light, you are made to reach heights
Representing, in the skin that you’re in
In the world when you lose amongst men
With God, you can win

Don’t be deterred by your circumstances
Be strong and fight for the family God made you the man in,
Life is unfair, there will be other chances
Prepare your heart, your mind, your spirit
So that you are strongly standing

Black skinned man

Though the world will judge you by your exterior you are never to be bowed head or to feel inferior
See past the physical, get in tune and in touch with the spiritual
Of you
You are much more than what meets the eyes
Much more than the stereotypes, racial profiling, the lies
You’re here for a reason
Though the world makes that hard for you to believe it,
Categorizing free-willed human beings
To be all the same, trying to kill you off
But you are needed
Odds against you, you’ll beat it
Your story to be wrote, a story to be told,
So your children can read it
Your black skinned sons need you to show if there’s anything they want to be, in their black skin, they can be it.

Black skinned man.

Designed on purpose
No amount of money will ever equal to
Your worthiness.

Black skinned man,

I love your black skin, I love your dark skin.

Black skinned man.

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