Me & My Boyfriend 👄

After so much of my time has been with me being single, I’ve finally reached the point to where I can admit that I want a boyfriend. Yes, I said, I WANT A BOYFRIEND.😊 

Out loud this is my proclamation. My decree. My confession. It’s so much of a big deal (maybe just to me☺️) because I’ve been single for so long, for one. I always speak about how much I enjoy my single life & how I could be single forever. For two. Being who I am, I like not needing and wanting so much unless I know for sure that I can obtain it and fulfill that desire. It’s always been so rewarding to me being strong & MISS INDEPENDENT, specifically described in the words of NeYo. I love to go about my life, as my own woman, taking care of business, being fly and all the while being single. Providing all of me and my sons wants & needs. Contrary to popular belief. And when people are speculating about you and your life, it should confirm to you that you are on the right track. Just watch & wonder, I say. But stay in your lane. 

Some time ago, back in the earlier Destiny’s Child days, there was a magazine or television interview that I remember Beyonce’saying how she wanted a boyfriend. And shortly after, she was with Jay-Z. They were dating & collaborating, and today they are married making money, mini-moguls and Lemonade.🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋🍋 

As much as I enjoy my space & time, if I can say that I don’t mind sharing it with someone other than my son, then it must be true.

I juggle in my mind if I want a boyfriend or if I just like the idea of having one because of all the cute celeb couples, the couple that catches my eye walking hand-in-hand down the street……(and that would pretty much be it, there aren’t many couples I know, know about, hear about or see that I can say I have their #RelationshipGoals✔️✔️✔️✔️ in mind for myself. 

Then again, it might simply be my own ideas that I have in my mind. It has been over 7 years since I’ve been in a relationship. 

So, I would say it’s OK for me to have a boyfriend now. It’s a good time for me to be in a relationship again!!! I think. My heart is free, no lingering heartbreak from a previous relationship and no BAGGAGE, carried from any either. Most of all, I’ve spent a lot of time focusing on myself, spiritually, physically, mentally & professionally. Which are key points when you want to share some aspects of your life with someone else. One must know how to stay in their own lane. Check yourself! 

As far as my ideas of my boyfriend, I could probably pen a book series from those. Well, when you’ve not been involved with someone for a significant amount of time, your imagination fulfills your ideas & beliefs until the magic happens and make it all come true. 💫

A boyfriend to me is much of a friend, a close friend. The closest male friend to you! He is both your man and your friend. Someone that treats you like there is no one else in the world that matters. Like you are so special & beautiful to him. He holds your hand, looks at only you and shows you off to his whole world because he’s proud of you. You’ll catch him staring at you often and at the most random of times, because he admires & adores you that much. You’re a dream come true to him. As he may be to you. Either way, he’s staying around until he makes you feel that he is. 

You all date often. Texts, FaceTime, Skype, Social Media posts & rants (good ones) are automatic. You explore a lot of new places & fun activities together. He calls everyday and comes to see you surprisingly. He also learns you well enough to know when to give you some space. Some time alone shopping, hanging with friends, traveling and enjoying life without him too. Your happiness is his happiness, no matter what it is. 

He attends all of your family events with you and looks forward to meeting your son because he plans on being your husband. He cooks for you, or learns to if he can’t. He loves to send you flowers & gifts everyday, even though he knows you never expect it. 

Although he buys extravagant gifts and tries to lavish you with a luxurious lifestyle, he knows that you are not a material girl and those things will never guarantee him your heart, no matter how excessive in quantity it may be. The greatest gift that he can ever have you give to him is your heart. Your love. That he will spend his life letting you know how valuable that is to him above everything he has. 

On a regular day, my boyfriend comes to see me and we spend the day together, relaxing or walking on the beach, no matter the season. Or watching movies at home, eating and laughing. Pillow fights and pillow-talk. 

Overall, my boyfriend is faithful to me. He’s loyal, attentive and loves & accepts all that I am. My strength does not intimidate him and I can be weak with him, without him trying to take advantage of me. He loves all of my struggles & complications that comes with the woman I’m growing to be. No other woman phases him. He’s strong in God and physically. He’s trustworthy & trusting of me.

These are some of the elements I believe my boyfriend should possess. 

But that’s just me. 

Realistic? Or Wishful thinking? 

I’ll have to answer that for myself, I believe it’s realistic! 😍🤔

💋

Facebook Friends vs. Friends

By Veronica Michelle 💋

Nowadays you have to know the difference. If majority of your communication, contacting & interacting with someone, anyone, is over Facebook or any trendy social media site, you are “Facebook friends.”

The amount of time you’ve known someone does not determine the quality of a friendship.

Real friendships/relationships require more maintenance than some people are willing to believe. Or give for that matter. But they love to talk about “friends.” 

(You can’t expect for someone to be a good friend to you. If you don’t show/prove yourself to be a good friend).

Effort requires action. Action cannot be performed with the pressing of a “like” button on social media. 

Some people like to use you (others as well). If it is allowed it means that you are a friend to them. If it isn’t allowed, then you’re not considered as being a good friend. 

For the same people to always be on the receiving end, & rarely to never on the giving end, is not a real friendship. 

The past is not relevant to the present in friendships. People will dwell forever on the past. Until you realize that’s exactly where you left them. (Many years ago, when you grew up & they didn’t. You outgrew them.)

It’s hard to be friends with, especially best of friends with people you have outgrown. 

The best exchange between two people are first & always the exchange between two human beings. Simply connecting to someone. Those are the best gifts. What’s on the inside of an individual. 

-If there is a negative exchange from someone, there is no gift in negativity. Especially to someone who isn’t negative. 

Some people or “friends” around you only want to get close enough to rub up against you. In other words to try to obtain what they see in you, for themselves. They want to steal your joy, peace & happiness. 

Authenticity can never be duplicated. 

For the singles with married friends. As a single woman you might take notice and overlook indications of your married friends being jealous of you. It’s not something we look for, but you can’t ignore it. 

Why would happily married friends be jealous of you? 

-Needless to say some marriages that appear happy, are not always happy. 

– When you are a single woman and you are genuinely happy, single & free. Some of your married friends envy this about you, whether they admit it or not. 

– When you have your life going on without the help or dependency of a man. That’s enviable in itself. Every gal should have the need to fulfill her independent self, before settling down. Some women marry young before they can achieve this. 

– Your Favor! There is nothing more radiant than the favor of God, glowing through you. From the inside out. As crazy as it seems, this is something people are jealous of as well. As if it were your choice. #GodChoseMe

– If you have great potential, proven success with your career-goals & direction in life that is clearly before you and there is nothing that denies you are on a path of great success.  Some people show you very early on, that they won’t be able to handle it. 

Sometimes people ( friends included can see things in you, before you do).

Some friendships are about people just wanting to stay connected to you. Without wanting to put in the effort to. 

A lot of the things you deal with pertaining to friends always have a valuable lesson attached to it.  You have to always remain prepared. To accept the changes. As well as the growth that will come from it. 

Some people are a blessing. Some are a lesson. 

There are people in your life for a reason. And others for a season. 

Some are there for the long run and some are there for the home run. 

Apply your filters and necessary changes will happen. 

Always be ready & willing to meet the best friend of your life at any given time. Don’t limit God! With the limitations others try to put on you. 

💋

He Wasn’t Man Enough For Me

Every single woman that has escaped marrying a certain man I believe, has an internal gratitude or celebration. At least she should have! Even if she’s had a baby by him. (For the single mothers and baby mamas.😉)

At some point she realized that this man wasn’t the one for her. Instead of settling in the situation, forcing marriage because of the excuse that there is a child involved, she had to find the strength to walk away from that man. Which isn’t always an easy thing to do. 

I hear of so many situations where the child’s mother or “baby mama” is to blame for every problem in every drama-filled situation. Being a single mother, I know now, like I always have that this isn’t true. 

The woman now in the exes life, would sometimes rather believe the worse of a woman from the past, than to accept the truth, especially when that truth comes with a child. 

Me being the kind of woman I am, I could never find comfort in being with a man who isn’t both intentional & adamant about having a peaceful situation with someone he has a child with. Instead of trying to attack her and make me think she’s the problem. For one. 

For two, I personally am not a woman who would marry someone’s “baby’s daddy.” It’s not my style. I was raised under a single mother, and hard-working women who has dealt with men’s craziness & chaos. I would think too much of the woman and child/children, he’s leaving just to attempt & try it again with me. 

I would send him right back to her! 

Whether or not he stayed would not be my issue. But home is not with me either. Ok?

Lastly, because of my beliefs and what I know I wouldn’t settle with, my husband does not have any children. In other words, when he comes to me and tries to marry me, he will be a single man with no children & most likely, never been married. 

Even though I have a son. 🙂

What we believe we have to settle for as women, we settle for. What we don’t, we don’t. 

“Now it’s time you know the truth, I think he’s just the man for you!”🖕🏽

Going back to school? 📚💭

These are the kind of thoughts that come to mind when questioned about my going back to school. Because I love to learn, I know there has to be more.
So much to learn, so little time…..💋   
  

  
  
    
  
  
    
    
    
    
    
    

💋

 

Keep In Touch📱💻

 

Nowadays it’s so important for people to “keep in touch, stay in touch or stay connected.” As it’s been referred to on different occasions. I’m not sure what has warranted this urgency of staying connected to people you have no life connection with. Or staying connected to those you don’t see, deal with or talk to on a regular basis.

Social media might be in part to blame for such behavior but then again, maybe some people have to deal with the idea of not being connected to someone for their own comfort.

More than ever, for me this has made me aware of my own relationships. Facebook has the most “friend” connections for me than any of my other social sites. That’s because I decided that I would cater it to interact amongst my family, friends (the actual ones), associates, high school & college peers as well as some people I’ve worked with. That number may be just well into the 200 mark. Which is not considered to be a lot. Every now & then I may do some revisions to my friends list. Simply because I don’t think it’s necessary to have a lot of people lingering to have a large number of friends, followers, likes, etc. It’s very simple for me.

For branding purposes, I’m well aware of who my audience is. They are driven to me and I’m driven to them. Whether it’s one person or one hundred people I rather be an inspiration to individuals who are actually interested than those who just hang around on your social media pages to see what you’re doing. I’m amazed at what extremes people go through to do so.

With the photos, status updates, video posts & likes that I put on social media, I am proud to say that there is no way that the information disclosed on my private sites indicate what my personal, real-world life is everyday. Or the things that go on in my personal life. There’s always more, or at least there should be. I don’t believe everyone gives a play-by-play of their lives on social media. But I could be wrong about that.

So where is the fire? What’s the need of keeping in touch with people you don’t keep in touch with? There is nothing more perplexing than to pick up the phone to someone that I haven’t talked to, communicated with or even thought about saying “I’m just keeping in touch,” just to not talk to them for a significant amount of time after that. All I can do is laugh. Because I haven’t talked to them in so long & I know there is no reason for us to keep in touch. Just the same, getting a social media message in my inbox of someone trying to “get in touch” with me to see if my number changed, just for the sake of having it. As well as those who want to privately inbox to rekindle old friendships. To some people this kind of behavior might come across as harassment.

Texting is another form of false connection. If I don’t talk to someone as much as text messages are sent, our form of communication is only through text. There is no relationship there. Nor can any relationship be sustained via text message.

To me, I think it’s very simple to understand that people who want you in their lives will make sure you know that they do.

I do believe in the process of moving on. There’s growth in it, peace, happiness & power. No one should have power over you.

I’ve had to master the art of moving on from people who I still have to deal with due to certain circumstances. Life can be difficult enough on its own. We shouldn’t feel burdened by the weight of carrying other people or their expectations that they’ve somehow linked you to.

When you find that you haven’t talked to someone in a while, decided to assess people in your life, you’ve editted your phone book or friends list and some people are deleted, that’s called life. It happens. It’s fine for them as well.

Should these people reach out to you in other ways, be nice & cordial. But if you’re not trying to be connected, then don’t connect. Sometimes the issue is not keeping in touch, but letting go. You may learn that before other people do, but eventually, they’ll move on. With this instant access of people and Information Age we are in, we can be easily blinded and forget the essence of real relationships and knowing the difference. It may require some work. Those of us who take time out to “get it,” will get it. We still have to dwell amongst those who have not.

I know that I’ve become more of a socialite than I used to be. In that, I mean actually socializing in person, face-to-face. Physically seeing someone and they get to see me. Not hiding behind a telephone or computer screen. These are tools of communication for active relationships when we can’t see each other in person. They’re not to be used as an electronic leash for being held on to.

Know your own guidelines & follow them accordingly. That’s the best way of keeping your own interactive life under control and not letting it control you.

MAN

By Veronica Michelle

“A man cannot live on bread alone”

What’s all this talk I hear about a “man?”

One woman thinks she is nothing without one & another thinks she has everything because of a….. MAN.

I didn’t know a man had so much power.

What can a man do better for me than I can do for myself?

I’m a STRONG kinda woman!

I’m a WHOLE lot of woman!

Show me a man worth celebrating, having patience and waiting for?

I can see that the world is full of them

Everyday as I come & go

Out & about, To & fro

But show me what’s underneath that exterior, when the curtains close & the lights go off

When you get him alone….

I’m just curious

Show me a man worth getting furious for

Worth wrecking some sh*t for

A man worth checking mother & father & sisters, f*ck it, family altogether for!

at the door

If he’s blessed financially

That won’t impress me

Numbers aren’t new to me

I won’t walk around with a high priced piece of foolery

Because he can afford me nice jewelry

If I say MAN, my MAN

Enough should be said. 👏🏾

My mind & my heart are set on things above

My secret to you is that I need love (real love, true love)

What the world sees & praises is not a factor

I don’t need a pretender, I don’t want an actor

There are barriers to be broken, shifts to be made

This world was designed with a purpose for my love in mind

All this talk about a man

I’m just saying

What’s your heart like, what are your plans …for me?

Are you true & honest

Will you be loyal at all times?

What’s your past like?

Does it still come to haunt you

Do your enemies try to find & taunt you?

Have you left all of that behind you…..

Are you a man to let stay over?

Can I be sure that God will reach you, if I pray over you?

A man, sounds like it requires a lot of work!

But everybody wants one

For some reason

Is there a MAN for me?

Ready & ripened and in season.

The day that I see him, I’ll believe it!

A man! That just makes me laugh

Because I’ve been known to break up & leave based on the kinda day I had

In the beginning God made man & a woman to stand by him, he holds her hand.

If a MAN is a part of God’s plans for me, then all I have to do is just be.

He knows where I am, no search required. Without a man I’m destined for higher.

If he’s inside of my destiny, then God will bless his whole life by sending him to me.
“A Good Wife Is From The Lord”

Wonder Woman

By Veronica M. Benson

Why do I have to keep a straight face

Keep my legs crossed and appear unphased

Because he went out and misbehaved and played

Himself

I’m supposed to appear to be this perfect little thing

Grab hold of my emotions, like I’m not hurting

While I sat there all the time

Keeping us, in mind

Thinking about a promise that was

Supposed to come in our time

And in our line

But I’m supposed to be fine

I wonder how many women

Are living in pretending

While they keep hidden

What they are truly missing

Due to the years of tradition

That says to keep sitting

And be good little women

He’ll be back once his playing

Catches up with him

I wonder why women

Never get the nerves

Put on their best shoes

And skirts

And leave first

Or find enough strength

To take a deep breath
And leave

When what left returns

Burned

Ready to try and learn , now…

When he rebelled at first

Here he comes now

Some with a kid

Outside of what was promised

Or just the guilt, the scars

From what he did

And there you are

Ready to forgive

Forget about years

Tears

Fears

You didn’t choose to be played

But it’s your choice if you’ll stay

Too afraid that another woman

Will reap the good in him

That you know is on the way.

So where’s his lesson?

When he ran out and came back

And it was your turn you should have left him

In life there are many teachers

Experience so far is the best one

Don’t tell me it’s for the kids

Or what you think is best for the child

Surely while he ran around
If you searched his heart and mind

Those kids were nowhere to be found

I wonder why

I wonder where

I wonder when

Women started this

Messed up pattern

Of this is how it should happen

For titles

Don’t tell me it’s in the bible

God may use you to get them

At the feet of the Lord

After you’ve finished

He opens the door

For what He had in store

For you all along

Before you fell in love with

The wrong,

Man

It Makes me wonder women

Why we won’t be the heroes

And leave the zeroes

In the type of men, or in the money they think they can spend

To win what can never be bought

Why are we afraid to leave

What can be worse than hurting, than hiding,

Smiling knowing you’re crying and inside you’re dying

Why wonder women?

When you can be living and forgetting

About whoever hurt you and never deserved you

While you’re getting what you wished for from the beginning

To be winning women in this life

It’s not always about being a wife

Especially when you ‘re worried about what’s in others eyes

What they see or what they’ll think

I wonder why women

Can’t deal with endings

That never should have happened

To be their own Wonder Woman

And grab hold of, their new beginnings

When men come and go

Why do you have to be strong enough to know

That it’ll be OK

And this pain will pass one day

If you can just make it through each moment

To fall down hard enough and pray

We believe that God wants us to end up this way

Under a man

When he made us WO-MAN

More pleasing, undefeated, a special kind of being

We were made wonderful women for a reason

Not made to need a man but to be needed

I wonder why women won’t believe that we are great

And just be it

We believe it, but don’t achieve this great belief within us
We look to everything and everyone around to tell us how to be us

We eat and digest and serve again anything this world will feed us

We look to be taught but we are the teachers

I believe and see that the world is waiting and in need of us

I wonder women, when and where we will begin.

Fun Date Ideas!

Since I’ve been single for so long now, 6 years in May. Due to my date life deprivation, I think about some of the things I want to do or that I think would be fun to do when I meet the spontaneous, adventure-filled, with no children might I add, man, who will dedicate his time, efforts and life to making dating a great experience.

Yasssss! I want the full dating, courting, pursuing and being showered with undivided attention and time experience. I want him to breathe, sleep and eat “What can I do for Veronica today?” 🙂 (Without being annoying and extra) That’s just me.

If he happens to be the man of my dreams that I’ve been waiting for all this time, I don’t want to know about it until I am fully courted. He has to be thoughtful in the things that he does. And genuine as well.

Here are some of the things I think would be fun to do for dates:

$ Model clothing or sexy lingerie for your date and ask him to take pictures of you. (He should also model, while you are the photographer) You can be creative in clothing selection and add some acting and posing to the pictures to bring the outfits to life. Have fun with this. (Use as many props as you want)

$ Interview each other to find out interesting information about your date. This should be fun and could be a good ice breaker for first dates scenarios.

$ Go to get massages together and take a trip hand-in-hand to the adult stores.

$ Give your date an hour long massage and polish her toenails. (You may as well polish her fingernails too!)

$ Play CD’s or Records for each other, ones that describe how you feel. Also music that’s fun to dance closely with your date to.

$ Game Night! Dress in your favorite team’s attire (Whoever team wins, the other caters to that person and does whatever is asked of them. (Without violating any restrictions)

$ Take a pottery class together and have your own romantic moment photographed (like the scene in the movie “Ghost”)

$ Go to an open mic event. Perform as a duet or solo artist with a piece in dedication of your date

$ Go on a shopping excursion/shopping spree with your date! If you have a limit, set it to a specific budget before time so you’ll know just where to go and live it up.

$ Take your date to be pampered for the entire day. For her to get a facial, her makeup done, hair, nails, shopping, dinner, entertainment and plus more if you want!

$ Go to a neighborhood carnival or to a major amusement park. The carnivals are smaller and can be more intimate. Be sure to ride the Ferris Wheel and for fun, reenact the scene from the movie “He Got Game” on the Ferris Wheel. (But not really) Take double-selfies of you and your date.

$ Go to a grape vineyard (search & make reservations) and make your wine by crushing the grapes with your feet. Both you and your date!

$ Go horseback riding or on a horse and carriage ride

$ Be brave and go for a Hot Air Balloon ride

$ Take a romantic getaway spontaneously or go on a stay-cation right in your own city.

$ Send flowers to your date earlier that day before you all go out

$ Have a cooking dinner competition with your date. Both of you prepare the same meal separately but in the same kitchen together. Whoever cooks the best, wins. You can decide between the two of you what the winner will get!

$ Go on a professional photo shoot

$ Visit an animal shelter to pet, feed and talk to lonely animals. This is a great idea, especially if your date is an animal lover.

$ Surprise your date with a maid to clean up for them for the day, YOU! (or hire one while you treat your date to some time out. Lunch, dinner, etc)

$ Take a dance class together and learn a routine. Perform it in front of an audience.

$ Have an at home movie night. Serve a variety of foods. Flirt talking permitted only! Build a dream/vision board together with your date. Take a vow to be supportive of each other with the dreams you have shared with them. (Dollar Tree, Michael’s, World Cost Market, Target or Walmart are places you can go to find cute little scrap booking what-nots to add to your vision board.)

(I’m working on vision boards with my son. On Pinterest and on cardboard poster boards. Dreams are meant to be shared with someone special.)

$ Have you ever given or received a promise ring? Have a date night where you and your date give each other “Ring Pop” promise rings. You create the promise between the two of you.

$ Give Valentine’s gifts even though it’s not Valentine’s Day. Use it as an example of how you want to make your date feel like it’s V-day everyday of the year.

$ Create a holiday between the two of you to celebrate your love. Celebrate it every year! (Or as often as you like, on various days throughout the year)

$ Take a painting and wine class

$ If your date has a child or children, plan a fun-filled day with and/or for the kids! Adults get to tag-a-long.

$ Plan a romantic night at home with your favorite foods, romantic music & decorations. Don’t forget the homemade chocolate covered strawberries & champagne.

$ If it’s time for your date to meet your family, hire chefs from your favorite restaurant(s) to cook in your home or family member’s home. Create a theme & dress attire (i.e black & white party) hire a DJ and make it a small, intimate family event.

$ Take your date to church with you to connect with them spiritually. It should be a good time.

$ If there is snow where you are take your date skiing, sledding, ice skating and build a snowman with them in the snow. Getting cozied up with hot chocolate afterwards will be fun.

$ Go skating & bowling with your date. Make sure you are better than them at both.

$ Have a dance contest with your date. The winner will receive a gift of their choice from the other person.

$ Depending on your date’s career path or interests do something thoughtful as it pertains to their life’s goals. (i.e: For a writer, one might give them a writer’s retreat for the weekend or a specified amount of time. It can be anywhere. A hotel, a coffee shop, a fixed room in their house, etc) Be sure to meet up with your date during break times.

$ Have a game & food night with you & your date’s friends. Couples suggested.

$ If you’re not into tattoos, go & get temporary ones with your date.

$ Write letters to your date and mail them to their house or job.

$ Go to the gym together to workout, or take a Pilates/yoga class together.

$ Play/flirt with your date on social media (i.e. Facebook ). Be sure to tag them so they can respond back. (Likes or comments by others aren’t necessary to respond to. They’re just joining the
fun!)

$ For your date’s birthday be sure to do something for them that is unexpected, sentimental and over-the-top, but within your budget. Birthdays are always special.

There are a lot of ways to come up with interesting things to do for dates! After all, dating is about having fun. So make sure you have fun with it.

Amazon local has a lot of great ideas for dates at the best prices. You can also check Groupon and other places that have deals for your dates.

$$$$ Happy Dating! $$$$

I ♥ You

To being me, Veronica!

I ♥ Me!

Baggage: Don’t Claim It!

By Veronica M. Benson

I think it’s disrespectful for someone to present themselves in such a way that’s appealing to another person and then get close to them just to reveal a life of unsettled baggage.

Men should not be complaining to a woman about their personal lives and problems because they seem like a nice person and are attracted to you.

I’m sure everyone has something to deal with in their lives but I don’t think a person should be measured by if they can tolerate or deal with your personal dilemmas & situations.

Women who are single, baggage free or not baggage burdened and are living successful, thriving lives are not magnets or B&B’s for good-looking men who need assistance in ending a bad relationship or moving on from an unstable living arrangement; or any other unsettled situation. (Your problems are your own.)

Women are not responsible to help you deal with those. At any point, but especially in a dating situation less than 1 year. You shouldn’t look for her to nor should she feel obligated to.

Men should be more responsible and careful in their selection and approaches, in life in general. I believe that men get warning signs when they are initiating something with the wrong woman. Usually when a game is presented in secret, it will end with a man’s downfall. It will fall apart for the one who pursues someone wrongfully or with the wrong intentions.

I think it’s interesting that men are willing to air their problems and baggage to women so easily. Which to me, in my own viewpoint is beyond me. Complaining about things a man should have control over. It seems as though because of the fact that we as women are caring and nurturing, men take that for granted and use it against us.

They will try to enter our lives and hearts through sympathy. It has become part of a man’s intention, to get a woman by running to her from another with complaints and baggage he created. Instead of working to get a woman’s anything. That would be a better investment in the long run.

I don’t know, because I’ve been unaware of the dating scene, where this idea of burdening women with men’s problems comes from at all. Especially so early on in any situation. These observations have been somewhat humorous on an ironic level but at the same time perplexing. To me it’s simple. Keep your problems and issues to yourself if you’re trying to deal with other people.

Dating is supposed to be fun. The beginning stages of getting to know someone. To learn if your feelings match your attraction to them.

It’s not supposed to be men burdening women with their unfulfilled dreams, desires & wants. It’s not supposed to be men moving into women’s houses, apartments, etc to get their start. Or to have somewhere they can go.

God gave Adam everything before He gave him a woman. Eve. I believe this was done for a specific reason. To show men there are requirements that should be met before even thinking about having a wife. To make visible to women that we were not made to work for a man but that a man should work always and constantly to maintain a rich, fulfilling life for himself and his woman. I believe this is the way things should be. And every woman should. It’s hard to settle when you really believe what you believe. That’s why “No” has been the answer for every proposal I’ve received from past relationships. Some women cling to a man’s word and I like words…. but if the work ethic, the dreamer and every other important element aren’t all collaborating to produce some successful action to match the words, then to me you’re trying to convince me of something you don’t even believe in. You have to want to work and work hard.

In another perspective, maybe God should have had Adam work for everything that was given freely to him with only the responsibility to take care of it. So that he wouldn’t have let anything or anyone jeopardize it for him. Which was in turn the curse he received for disobedience.

In our present society, it’s as if the tables have turned completely. As independent as I am, I never confuse what the world says with what God says. As a single woman I can be as independent as I want to be. But if any man wants to make me his wife, he will have already laid the foundation for having me as his wife. Not asking me to go to city hall for our marriage because it saves money. And this was the deal offered to me with a previous so called proposal. I couldn’t believe it. I know we have our different views on these types of things, but marriage is meant to be special. When you get the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, I believe it should be a special occasion in representation of the great God who put two people together.

Men were designed to carry burdens without needing a woman to do it for them or with them.
If you as a woman, think it is the way to take care of a man laying up under you, in your house, then that’s the life you will have.
Women were not made to take care of men, that’s not the way God intended it to be.
Your life will form or conform according to what you believe.

The comfort that men think they will get from laying under a woman should be deposited into their belief, faith and trust in God’s word. Which provides a peace that they may not find living in a woman’s house.

I’ve seen and have experienced some unusual circumstances because of the ways men think. I’ve seen a man who one woman had him by his house and another had him by the hand. How was this possible? Men don’t have the right things in mind first. Because they don’t have the right things in their minds first it comes out in their lives exactly how it is in their minds and hearts. Scattered, chaotic, disastrous and drama-filled. Some men don’t accept that they are the creators for the drama they are experiencing in their own lives.

Baggage. If you don’t want baggage, don’t be baggage to someone. We all go through some things that may have people and things lingering or hanging on to us in ways that they shouldn’t be. Which causes unnecessary drama and strife. Like dead weight usually does, it won’t be able to hold on to you or hold you down forever, it will fall off. If you have it, it’s yours to deal with and carry or not carry until you are freed from it.

* Some women want those Louis Vuitton bags to carry, who are already walking around with baggage that comes at a much higher price than Louis Vuitton ever can. It’s your life! You don’t have to carry that baggage, put it down. Let it go. Make room for your blessings. Put the baggage down, so you can carry your Louis Vuitton bags 🙂 *